Its funny the things that people think will make them look more sexy.

We saw a couple of very overweight girls today in skimpy two piece bikinis, fags hanging out their mouths, sun-baking their already leathery bodies, being careful not to miss the folds of skin between the rolls of fat.

There was another lady, easily in her seventies, hunched back with everything sagging in all the wrong places. She was also wearing a very attractive two piece and had seen so much sun in her time that you could make a whole suitcase from her skin.

Now the men are not excluded from this phenomenon, with budgie smugglers the swimwear of choice for all body shapes and sizes, they are definitely competing for best on beach.

Sym and I look very out of place in our boardies and tops.

Cloudless blue skies and clear water, ahh Croatia. Well more precisly, Dubrovnik. We have been here almmost a week now and could easily stay a lot longer. Its like staying at a resort where everything you could ever need for a beach holiday is just there.

We got ourselves a (very) little tent and have set up camp. We are quite dwarfed amougst all the campervans with there satalite TV and wireless internet but we like it. We call it home.
There are lots of beautiful beaches along this coast line. The water is so clear you can see the bottom even when its 4 or 5 metres deep. We have pretty much just gone to a different beach every day.

Yesterday we went sea kayaking. I kept turning left whihc was annoying but other than that it was heaps of fun. We paddled to a little island called Lokrum, a small uninhabited island. Its amazing. Beautifull cliff faces, caves, wildlife - even wild peacocks which was pretty cool. We went cliff jumping. Started small and worked our way up. However as we were leaving we saw people jumping off an even higher cliff. Will have to go back for that one.

The old town of Dubrovnick is beautiful too. Its enclosed by a massive stone wall. All the buildings and streets are stone or marble, mostly from this area so it tones in perfectly with the surrounding cliffs. There are lots of cute alleyways to explore, if you can fight your way through the sea of greys that invade every couple of days when a cruise ship comes through. Well time for a swim so more later.

Out of the toilet and into the warm sink of the Adriatic.
Yes finally left India, as you can guess it wasn't my cup of tea, there were so many things about India that made me want to kill, so many times i just felt a bubble in my belly that told me to walk out onto the balcony and scream to the Indian people down below, ˝YOU'RE ALL CUUUNNNTTTSSS, GHANDI TOO *˝. If it wasn't for the kind hospitality of the people we stayed with in Delhi and the fine time we had swimming and rafting the Ganges in Rishikesh i would have done some CNN type shit, maybe like aim for 200 people and see where i went from there try for, but enough hostility Symon, you're out now, its all ok.

Croatia, mmm, lovely. Croatia is a Paradise, Jewell of the Adriatic. we got in on..umm i dont know, a couple of days ago, landed in Zagreb.
Zagreb is really cool, in fact its a lot like Melbourne, thats the only reason i wouldn't live there (don't worry keen defenders of Melbourne im not dissing) , why move overseas if the place you move to is almost the same as the place you came from y'all.
we took an overnight bus to Dubrovnik, this place is awesome, absolutely stunning the water is so clear and warm to swim in, the scenery looks like its out of Tintin or that movie Porco Rosso
the foods good and everybody is like 7 foot tall and topless, yes Jonas you would love it here. Weather is fine too.
Ahhh yes, Croatia, sweet Croatia who hath taken thee away from shit and death and chicken korma.

India, Fucking India

Hmmm, how do i convey the wonders of India? Well think of the most annoying person youve ever met and triple it, thats India

a cuntry where hippies come and find themselves, what a load of bullshit, the only thing i found was rubbish, beggars and shit. More later

Well there are plenty of good things about India but there are equally as many bad things. I am pretty sure Sym will let you know all about the bad things so I figure I should start by telling you all the good things.

• Mohits family. We are staying with a great family in Delhi and using this as a bit of a base. They have been so good to us and have made us feel really welcome.
• Auto-Rickshaws. Once you get past the heckling over the price and trying to determine whether you are being totally ripped off or just a little bit, and laid ground rules about not detouring by any friend or relatives shop, they are ace! The traffic is crazy and theres no way I would want to be driving, but its fun ducking and weaving in these shitty little vehicles. When they break down they just push them over sideways on the side of the road and start banging them with a hammer.
• Food. The vegetarian section of the menu is bigger than the 'non-vegetarian' section. mmmm.
• Weddings. If you ever have a chance to go to an Indian wedding, snap it up. They are soooo much fun. We accidentally ended up in the parade with the grooms side and danced like whities until we were about to pass out from heat exhaustion.
• Taj Mahal. This is just as beautiful as it looks in all the pictures.
• Giant Sun Dials. There are two sun dial and other-astrology-based-dial parks in India. They are amazing, quite abstract looking, huge and a brilliant terracotta colour.
• Cows. Top of the ladder here. If a cow wants to cross the road, then the traffic stops. If a cow wants to stand in the middle of the road and just chill for a bit, then the traffic diverts around it. There is nothing a cow cant do as long as it doesn't cross the border....
• Monkeys. Found in abundance, these little guys are so cute (at least from a distance). I have never seen monkeys in the wild like this. They look healthier than half the people cause they can eat just about anything.
• White Water Rafting. What fun! Why haven't I ever done this before???
• Swimming in the Gange's. Thats right we swam in the Ganges river and survived. It was fun too. Swam in the rapids and jumped off a 8m high rock into the river.
• Rishikesh. A cool little river side town. Best place we went in India. Just chilled and more laid back than the bigger places but still has loads of character.
• Yoga. They actually have a yoga move here that simultaneously cures cancer, STD's, constipation, diabetes, labido problems, heart disease, and more. Amazing isn't it!
• Trucks. They have the prettiest trucks here that I have ever seen. Each one is a little piece of art in it's own right.
• McDonalds. Yes thats right. McD's is actually good here and with 40+degrees ever day, at least you know they have good refridgeration. Enough excusses.

Well there are plenty of good things about India but there are equally as many bad things. I am pretty sure Sym will let you know all about the bad things so I figure I should start by telling you all the good things.

• Mohits family. We are staying with a great family in Delhi and using this as a bit of a base. They have been so good to us and have made us feel really welcome.
• Auto-Rickshaws. Once you get past the heckling over the price and trying to determine whether you are being totally ripped off or just a little bit, and laid ground rules about not detouring by any friend or relatives shop, they are ace! The traffic is crazy and theres no way I would want to be driving, but its fun ducking and weaving in these shitty little vehicles. When they break down they just push them over sideways on the side of the road and start banging them with a hammer.
• Food. The vegetarian section of the menu is bigger than the 'non-vegetarian' section. mmmm.
• Weddings. If you ever have a chance to go to an Indian wedding, snap it up. They are soooo much fun. We accidentally ended up in the parade with the grooms side and danced like whities until we were about to pass out from heat exhaustion.
• Taj Mahal. This is just as beautiful as it looks in all the pictures.
• Giant Sun Dials. There are two sun dial and other-astrology-based-dial parks in India. They are amazing, quite abstract looking, huge and a brilliant terracotta colour.
• Cows. Top of the ladder here. If a cow wants to cross the road, then the traffic stops. If a cow wants to stand in the middle of the road and just chill for a bit, then the traffic diverts around it. There is nothing a cow cant do as long as it doesn't cross the border....
• Monkeys. Found in abundance, these little guys are so cute (at least from a distance). I have never seen monkeys in the wild like this. They look healthier than half the people cause they can eat just about anything.
• White Water Rafting. What fun! Why haven't I ever done this before???
• Swimming in the Gange's. Thats right we swam in the Ganges river and survived. It was fun too. Swam in the rapids and jumped off a 8m high rock into the river.
• Rishikesh. A cool little river side town. Best place we went in India. Just chilled and more laid back than the bigger places but still has loads of character.
• Yoga. They actually have a yoga move here that simultaneously cures cancer, STD's, constipation, diabetes, labido problems, heart disease, and more. Amazing isn't it!
• Trucks. They have the prettiest trucks here that I have ever seen. Each one is a little piece of art in it's own right.
• McDonalds. Yes thats right. McD's is actually good here and with 40+degrees ever day, at least you know they have good refridgeration. Enough excusses.

First impresions on India

• Heaps of fucking people.
• I mean like HEAPS of fucking people, everywhere. doing either not much or everything.
• It stinks like piss in some areas, and death in others. You could almost distinguish area boundries with your nose.
• Stray dogs everywhere, but not like Melbourne lost looking dogs that are just wandering about looking at shit and sniffing, India Dogs walk with a purpose and nod at you when they walk past. They also roam in gangs with other dogs looking for rival dog gangs to beat up or dance off with. NOTE: dont play street craps with these dogs, they took me for 500 Rupees and a hot dog.
• everyone is trying to sell you something, and if they are not, then they are trying to take you to their cousin who is.
• Its Hot, really fucking hot
• there is no way im eating the street food, not in this heat with no refridgeration, call me unadventurous but im just not that big on shitting my pants.
• I think i like India, though im still not sure.
• Jonas would hate it.